Why can't we be friends?

You hear a lot of talk now a days about how people shouldn't be judgemental or as I like to say, "Judgmental Judies". But, let's face it, we all are, some are just better at hiding it than others. Having said that, I am here to tell you we probably won't be friends if...

1. You come to work on Fridays saying "TGIF". What the hell is that anyway? Unless you plan on taking me out there for some nacho's I don't want to hear it.

2. You refer to Wednesdays as "hump days". Unless that's the one day of the week you're getting some, I don't want to hear it. If it is, then I"ll probably want details.

3. You get relationship advice from the comic strip "Cathy". Nuff said on that one.

4. If you're not my mother and you still say "don't go there". I can't seem to break her of the habit, what can I say, we're related.

5. You watch re-runs of "Mad about You" because you think that's how real married people live. Ugh, can't stand smug married people.

6. You send out those emails to me of angels telling people that they need to forward it on to 10 people. What is up with that anyway? At least back in the day people took the time to actually mail you a chain letter with a stamp and everything. I think I'd rather give my money to a Nigerian prince than send on one of these emails. Look, I don't like you for sending it to me in the first place, what the hell makes you think I want to piss off the few people that like me by sending it to them?

7. You still send out those "girl empowerment" emails. If I need to get my self-esteem from an email, I'm hoping I can do better than that. Maybe I'll go log on to "self-esteem.com" or I can always stick my head in the oven.

8. You send out these emails telling people how sorry you are that you don't write, but what do you send? Another chain letter. What is more offensive than that? Whatever happened to just saying, hey how are you? Now how long does that take?

9. You listen to lite fm (and again you're not my mother) because they play a great variety of music. I don't even know where to begin on that.

10. You think "holiday sweaters" shouldn't just be for holidays. Draw your own conclusions here on those people.

The list goes on people, but I have to go to bed now. Does this make me an awful person? Probably, but then I'm not known and loved for my people skills.

That's what I learned today.