The hardest person to love is yourself.

I was at the gym today and had to weigh myself. You should know I am about 7 pounds away from my goal. Or, the goal my first trainer set for me. I have no problem with this goal other than the fact that I can't sem to reach it. I've lost about 49 pounds since September, those of you that know me already know this. However, I've been thinking recently "why am I doing this?" Now, I know what you're going to say, "don't give up." It's not like I'm planning on giving up, it's more like why am I still doing this? I then got to thinking about the reasons most people lose weight. One, they want to feel better about themselves. I feel pretty good about myself, don't get me wrong, I'm glad I lost weight, but I always did feel pretty good about myself, so it can't be that. Two, to attract a person of the opposite sex. Well, one I'm married and my husband doesn't care how big or small I am. If I were looking to find a man on the side, well that's another problem. Women of a certain age (mine) find it difficult in the best of times to find a man and that's when we look great, not when we're a work in progress. So, who's to say if I did lose the rest of the weight some handsome younger man would fall head over heels in lust with me? Did you ever notice, women, that it's always another woman who'll boost you up? Not that I'm downing it, Girl power and all that, I'm just saying it would be nice for once to have someone you were interested in say that to you.

Which brings me back to reality. When my new trainer asked me what my fitness goals were today, I didn't know what to say. So, when I say the hardest person to love is yourself, is it self-love or self-loathing saying it?