A while back, someone once said to me that teachers should be paid more than movie actors. I smiled and agreed, but inside I was thinking, "What are you nuts?" Think about it, I know I'm a teacher and I should agree, but really movie stars get paid big bucks because people pay to see them. No one I know is coming to see me teach and apologies to all my colleagues at Sweet Valley, but they ain't comin to see you neither.
I don't begrudge celebrities for the money they make. I'm sure they work very hard at what they do. I get paid ok, I guess, I mean it could be a lot worse. I guess what I begrudge is that they're famous and I'm not.
Did you ever wonder if you were leading the life you were supposed to lead? Well, I have and I've often thought for some reason that I should be famous. I always felt that I should be leading a life that's more exciting than the one I lead now. I know I can't sing, I can't dance, I can't act so why the hell should I be famous? I have no idea but for some reason the thought won't leave my head. My only hope is that there are people on TV right now who have a no talent like me but they're famous, that gives me hope. See, I knew there were other reasons I love Snookie.
I'm hoping I won't have to get arrested or live in a house eating roaches with 20 other people to become famous, who knows? Maybe I'll win lotto and start my own show.
I guess that's part of why I started this blog, so maybe people would get to know me and be interested in the things I say. I only hope that if I'm not interesting, that someone will just come out and say it so I can put this dream to rest. Until then I'll keep hoping for the life less ordinary.
That's what I learned today.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Thank you Tiger Woods
I read in the paper today that Tiger Woods is going back to playing golf again professionally. I have to tell you, I was a little sad to hear it. No matter how sad I was, I knew he gave me and the country a great gift and I for one am thankful.
Let me start by saying I have no interest whatsoever in golf. My husband loves watching it on tv, God forbid he'd actually go out and play it. I however, would rather watch paint dry. No, you see my debt of gratitude towards TIger Woods has nothing to do with golf.
Every morning before I go to work, I buy the newspapers to read in my car, it's just what I do, don't judge me. Anyway, the stories of late have been pretty depressing, unemployment, recession and the like. Every where you look are stories of people losing their houses, jobs and hope. I'm lucky, I guess I have a home and a job. However, it was pretty damn depressing to go into a job, which can be pretty damn depressing too, after reading all of these stories. Then, one day around Thanksgiving magic happened.
Tiger Woods had gotten into a car accident near his home. I didn't much care, as long as he was all right, I mean people get into accidents every day no? Then, the stories started coming out. Every "hoo-er" from across the country started saying they were sleeping with Tiger Woods. Now, I thought, things are getting interesting. These women had no shame whatsoever in talking about the personal details of their sex lives. Now, if you'd ask them if they had cellulite, I'm sure they would've clammed up fast. They had, like I said, no problem talking about all the sex they were having, the kinkier the better.
All of a sudden, I noticed that all the doom and gloom that was usually front page news now had been pushed back in favor of Tiger Woods and all his "hoo-ers". I was thrilled. Now instead of going in to work thinking about all those poor people, I could now keep a running total of how many women Tiger slept with. (I found out later that keeping the list was unnecessary, the Post had done it for me, cool)
Then of course there was poor Elin, the scorned wife. Would she leave him? How much would she get? I was dying to know. My winter had suddenly taken on a purpose.
Now, Spring is here and all good things must come to an end. Tiger is back with his wife, he's playing golf again and I'm left with nothing good to read about in the papers in the morning. Oh well, anyone know how long until "Jersey Shore" starts up again?
That's what I learned today.
Let me start by saying I have no interest whatsoever in golf. My husband loves watching it on tv, God forbid he'd actually go out and play it. I however, would rather watch paint dry. No, you see my debt of gratitude towards TIger Woods has nothing to do with golf.
Every morning before I go to work, I buy the newspapers to read in my car, it's just what I do, don't judge me. Anyway, the stories of late have been pretty depressing, unemployment, recession and the like. Every where you look are stories of people losing their houses, jobs and hope. I'm lucky, I guess I have a home and a job. However, it was pretty damn depressing to go into a job, which can be pretty damn depressing too, after reading all of these stories. Then, one day around Thanksgiving magic happened.
Tiger Woods had gotten into a car accident near his home. I didn't much care, as long as he was all right, I mean people get into accidents every day no? Then, the stories started coming out. Every "hoo-er" from across the country started saying they were sleeping with Tiger Woods. Now, I thought, things are getting interesting. These women had no shame whatsoever in talking about the personal details of their sex lives. Now, if you'd ask them if they had cellulite, I'm sure they would've clammed up fast. They had, like I said, no problem talking about all the sex they were having, the kinkier the better.
All of a sudden, I noticed that all the doom and gloom that was usually front page news now had been pushed back in favor of Tiger Woods and all his "hoo-ers". I was thrilled. Now instead of going in to work thinking about all those poor people, I could now keep a running total of how many women Tiger slept with. (I found out later that keeping the list was unnecessary, the Post had done it for me, cool)
Then of course there was poor Elin, the scorned wife. Would she leave him? How much would she get? I was dying to know. My winter had suddenly taken on a purpose.
Now, Spring is here and all good things must come to an end. Tiger is back with his wife, he's playing golf again and I'm left with nothing good to read about in the papers in the morning. Oh well, anyone know how long until "Jersey Shore" starts up again?
That's what I learned today.
The Irish get the short end of the shileighle
Happy St. Paddy's Day to you all. Now, that I've gotten that out of the way, as a first generation Irish woman, I've got a gripe.
First off, I have no idea who Erin is or why she'd want to go braless, so please stop asking me. Also, no I don't have to wear green today, see if you can't tell I'm Irish by looking at me, wearing green won't help.
Recently, the Italian's were in the news up in arms over the portrayal of Italian Americans on the "Jersey Shore". They felt that they were being portrayed as brainless guidos, in search of a tan and a buff body. Let me tell you something, the Irish wish we had that to complain about.
First off, none of us tan. Yeah, yeah I know all about the "black Irish" and I don't buy it. If you're really Irish, then you don't tan, period. First degree burns, yes deep dark color that isin't red, NO.
Secondly, we'd love to have a buff body, but with all the children the Irish families pump out, women's bodies are shot and since you can't drag the men away from the pub to eat their dinner, they damn sure aren't going to any gym.
If you remember years back, the Italians also complained about the "Sopranos". They said that it made Italians look like they were all in organized crime. Again, the Irish wish they had these problems.
Look, at least they're being put on TV, when was the last time you saw and Irish family on TV? "All in the Family?" I think one of them was Polish, so I'm not sure if that counts or even if they were Irish.
Oh no, not us no tv shows for us, all we get are lame jokes about how much we drink all day. So, while I sip my iced tea while eating my grilled chicken and brown rice I ask you please to spare a kind thought for your Irish friends.
Top O' the Day to you all.
First off, I have no idea who Erin is or why she'd want to go braless, so please stop asking me. Also, no I don't have to wear green today, see if you can't tell I'm Irish by looking at me, wearing green won't help.
Recently, the Italian's were in the news up in arms over the portrayal of Italian Americans on the "Jersey Shore". They felt that they were being portrayed as brainless guidos, in search of a tan and a buff body. Let me tell you something, the Irish wish we had that to complain about.
First off, none of us tan. Yeah, yeah I know all about the "black Irish" and I don't buy it. If you're really Irish, then you don't tan, period. First degree burns, yes deep dark color that isin't red, NO.
Secondly, we'd love to have a buff body, but with all the children the Irish families pump out, women's bodies are shot and since you can't drag the men away from the pub to eat their dinner, they damn sure aren't going to any gym.
If you remember years back, the Italians also complained about the "Sopranos". They said that it made Italians look like they were all in organized crime. Again, the Irish wish they had these problems.
Look, at least they're being put on TV, when was the last time you saw and Irish family on TV? "All in the Family?" I think one of them was Polish, so I'm not sure if that counts or even if they were Irish.
Oh no, not us no tv shows for us, all we get are lame jokes about how much we drink all day. So, while I sip my iced tea while eating my grilled chicken and brown rice I ask you please to spare a kind thought for your Irish friends.
Top O' the Day to you all.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Everything I need to know in life, I learned from Snookie
Recently, like most of America, I find myself fascinated by the show, "Jersey Shore". When I first saw it, it was like watching a car crash. It was horrible, but I couldn't look away. I couldn't figure out why I was was so enthralled by this show. I know now.
The cast (especially the girls) were me, or more accurately what I wanted to be when I was their age. Growing up on Staten Island during the 80's all my friends and I wanted was an Italian boyfriend with a tan and muscles. Sad to say, I never got one but it didn't keep me from hoping. We also spent a lot of time at the Jersey shore drinking way too much. The only thing we didn't do was invite guys back to our house, since none of us had enough money to rent a house. But let me tell you, if we did.......
The character on that show that fascinates me the most is Snookie. Now if you're not a fan of the show, you can stop reading now. If you are, keep going and I'll tell you all the life lessons I learned from her.
1. When you're short, do what you can to make yourself more noticeable. Now, I'm not short, but it's still a good lesson for someone. Snookie wears her hair with this awful bump in the middle of it, and what do you know, she's at least an inch taller.
2. Take time to appreciate the little things in life. Snookie spent her summer working in a t-shirt shop when she wasn't partying or drinking that is. When I was her age, I'm pretty sure I had a full time job I wish I could've had a job selling t-shirts and hanging out all day.
3. Learn to relax. Here's a girl that can drink all night and still finds time to tan during the day. I'd be way too shot to even get out of bed after all that drinking never mind go and give myself third-degree burns for fun.
4. Be creative. When her ex-boyfriend didn't want to hang out with her, did she go home and cry about it? Well, maybe she did, but not before she decided to put on a show. There she was in the middle of the boardwalk at the jersey shore, dancing her little heart out. Was there any music? No. Were there any other people dancing? No. Did she look like a complete fool? Yes. Did it get her her boyfriend back? No. But was it impressive for it's sheer audacity? Oh yes.
5. Make the most of an opportunity. How many people do you know that can make a career out of getting punched in the face? (that aren't professional boxers that is) It's been years since I've been punched in the face, but if I thought I could use it to get paid as much as she's getting, lay the "smack down" on me I'm ready.
So, the next time you read in the papers people making fun of the cast of the "Jersey Shore" just think about all I've said while your trudging through the snow on the way to your lousy job, while they're getting paid to drink and hang out at the beach. If that fails, remember there are life lessons to be learned everywhere, even from Snookie.
That's what I learned today.
The cast (especially the girls) were me, or more accurately what I wanted to be when I was their age. Growing up on Staten Island during the 80's all my friends and I wanted was an Italian boyfriend with a tan and muscles. Sad to say, I never got one but it didn't keep me from hoping. We also spent a lot of time at the Jersey shore drinking way too much. The only thing we didn't do was invite guys back to our house, since none of us had enough money to rent a house. But let me tell you, if we did.......
The character on that show that fascinates me the most is Snookie. Now if you're not a fan of the show, you can stop reading now. If you are, keep going and I'll tell you all the life lessons I learned from her.
1. When you're short, do what you can to make yourself more noticeable. Now, I'm not short, but it's still a good lesson for someone. Snookie wears her hair with this awful bump in the middle of it, and what do you know, she's at least an inch taller.
2. Take time to appreciate the little things in life. Snookie spent her summer working in a t-shirt shop when she wasn't partying or drinking that is. When I was her age, I'm pretty sure I had a full time job I wish I could've had a job selling t-shirts and hanging out all day.
3. Learn to relax. Here's a girl that can drink all night and still finds time to tan during the day. I'd be way too shot to even get out of bed after all that drinking never mind go and give myself third-degree burns for fun.
4. Be creative. When her ex-boyfriend didn't want to hang out with her, did she go home and cry about it? Well, maybe she did, but not before she decided to put on a show. There she was in the middle of the boardwalk at the jersey shore, dancing her little heart out. Was there any music? No. Were there any other people dancing? No. Did she look like a complete fool? Yes. Did it get her her boyfriend back? No. But was it impressive for it's sheer audacity? Oh yes.
5. Make the most of an opportunity. How many people do you know that can make a career out of getting punched in the face? (that aren't professional boxers that is) It's been years since I've been punched in the face, but if I thought I could use it to get paid as much as she's getting, lay the "smack down" on me I'm ready.
So, the next time you read in the papers people making fun of the cast of the "Jersey Shore" just think about all I've said while your trudging through the snow on the way to your lousy job, while they're getting paid to drink and hang out at the beach. If that fails, remember there are life lessons to be learned everywhere, even from Snookie.
That's what I learned today.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
What do you mean my phone won't make toast?
I looked at my cell phone bill the other day and I was shocked to find it was $185. That's insane!! I am a middle aged woman, not a teenage girl, there is no reason on earth my bill should be that high. Then, I got on the phone with the cell phone company where a very nice man from India explained to me that my cell phone bill is correct. Ashamed and slightly embarrassed, I got off the phone.
This shame got me to thinking about the day I first purchased my i-phone. I remember thinking that you needed a college degree to operate this phone, or at least a degree that I didn't have. I thought, "this is crazy, why do I need so many pages of instructions just to make a @#@#$&^ call?!?!" Now, after looking at my bill, my regret is that the instruction book should be longer.
Think about it, your phone makes and receives calls big deal. Maybe your phone enables you to receive and send email, big deal. I think for that amount of money cell phones should be able to do a lot more. Here are some things I want my new cell phone to do.
1. call people for me. you know those people you have to call but really have no interest in talking to? You know, your mother, your cousin your neighbor? The phone would call this person for you and talk to this person just as if you were there. I know that sometimes these are important calls, but really after working all day, I don't even want to talk to myself, let alone anyone else.
2. Do your taxes and send them out. I've had my taxes done for at least a week now and still haven't sent them out. Yes, I've heard of e-filing and no for reasons that are too painful to mention, I just can't do it. So, if I could get my phone to do it, that'd be great.
3. Get someone in to clean my house. I keep hoping magical elves will do my laundry for me by the time I get home, I mean I've eaten enough Lucky Charms, I feel I'm owed. Yet, sorry to say, when I get home the damn laundry is still there waiting for me. So, if my phone could figure all that out, I'd be so happy.
4. Drive me to work. Yes, I know that sounds dangerous, but with technology today I would so trust it if it meant getting a few minutes more sleep.
5. Pay my bills, balance my checkbook and mail out those letters I keep meaning to mail. I'm sure there's some app on it that'll do it if I tell it to, but with the amount of money I pay a month for this damn phone, it should know by now.
So, as you can see, I want a lot from my phone. If I'm paying then I should expect more. If it can't do any of the above than a piece of toast every now and then would be nice.
That's what I learned today.
This shame got me to thinking about the day I first purchased my i-phone. I remember thinking that you needed a college degree to operate this phone, or at least a degree that I didn't have. I thought, "this is crazy, why do I need so many pages of instructions just to make a @#@#$&^ call?!?!" Now, after looking at my bill, my regret is that the instruction book should be longer.
Think about it, your phone makes and receives calls big deal. Maybe your phone enables you to receive and send email, big deal. I think for that amount of money cell phones should be able to do a lot more. Here are some things I want my new cell phone to do.
1. call people for me. you know those people you have to call but really have no interest in talking to? You know, your mother, your cousin your neighbor? The phone would call this person for you and talk to this person just as if you were there. I know that sometimes these are important calls, but really after working all day, I don't even want to talk to myself, let alone anyone else.
2. Do your taxes and send them out. I've had my taxes done for at least a week now and still haven't sent them out. Yes, I've heard of e-filing and no for reasons that are too painful to mention, I just can't do it. So, if I could get my phone to do it, that'd be great.
3. Get someone in to clean my house. I keep hoping magical elves will do my laundry for me by the time I get home, I mean I've eaten enough Lucky Charms, I feel I'm owed. Yet, sorry to say, when I get home the damn laundry is still there waiting for me. So, if my phone could figure all that out, I'd be so happy.
4. Drive me to work. Yes, I know that sounds dangerous, but with technology today I would so trust it if it meant getting a few minutes more sleep.
5. Pay my bills, balance my checkbook and mail out those letters I keep meaning to mail. I'm sure there's some app on it that'll do it if I tell it to, but with the amount of money I pay a month for this damn phone, it should know by now.
So, as you can see, I want a lot from my phone. If I'm paying then I should expect more. If it can't do any of the above than a piece of toast every now and then would be nice.
That's what I learned today.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Then what?
Have you ever been in a supermarket or any public place really and heard a mother say to her kid, "If you don't stop___________, you're gonna get it" Did you ever wonder what "it" was? I know I have. Now I'm not rude enough to ask that mother what the "it" was, but I've always wanted to know, what happens next?
This story isin't about kids per se, it's more about that eternal question, "then what?"
I'll give you a for instance. Let's say you realize one day that you don't love your husband anymore and you want a divorce. Then you tell him this and ask him to leave. What happens when he says, "no"? Or, what happens when you tell a kid to stop doing whatever bad thing he was doing and he tells you "no". What do you do then?
I think this question doesn't get answered because, in the interests of self-preservation, we find ways around it. Maybe we don't ask the questions, because we know what the answer will be and we don't have an answer to "then what".
I think what bothers me most about the "then what" question is that people get annoyed if you bring it up. I had a friend once, I'll call her "Matty" every year around January, she would tell me she's leaving her husband. She was so sure, yet I knew she was full of it and as soon as the snow melted, it would be business as usual. (Her husband worked for the Sanitation Dept. and was never home during the winter.)
I used to go along with it to make her feel better but one year I had had enough. So, I told her, "You're leaving Jim? Good idea. Now where will you go? Do you want me to help you look for an apartment? I know a great moving company I'll give you the number. What days of the week do you plan on letting him see Kelly (their daughter)?" I knew she was full of it, but I figured if she was so sure, she'd have all the answers. All of a sudden, she didn't have much to say.
Maybe it was cruel of me, but if she'd only said, "it bothers me he works so much, I wish he were home." I would've understood and been supportive. But if you're going to act like you know "what next" then you better be prepared to share it with the rest of us.
Matty and I are no longer friends, maybe it was that, maybe something else. I'll never know but I know one thing for sure, she still doesn't know "then what"?
So, in conclusion, maybe we don't have all the answers but we should be honest enough to admit we don't and move from there and not pretend there is no "then what"
That's what I learned today.
This story isin't about kids per se, it's more about that eternal question, "then what?"
I'll give you a for instance. Let's say you realize one day that you don't love your husband anymore and you want a divorce. Then you tell him this and ask him to leave. What happens when he says, "no"? Or, what happens when you tell a kid to stop doing whatever bad thing he was doing and he tells you "no". What do you do then?
I think this question doesn't get answered because, in the interests of self-preservation, we find ways around it. Maybe we don't ask the questions, because we know what the answer will be and we don't have an answer to "then what".
I think what bothers me most about the "then what" question is that people get annoyed if you bring it up. I had a friend once, I'll call her "Matty" every year around January, she would tell me she's leaving her husband. She was so sure, yet I knew she was full of it and as soon as the snow melted, it would be business as usual. (Her husband worked for the Sanitation Dept. and was never home during the winter.)
I used to go along with it to make her feel better but one year I had had enough. So, I told her, "You're leaving Jim? Good idea. Now where will you go? Do you want me to help you look for an apartment? I know a great moving company I'll give you the number. What days of the week do you plan on letting him see Kelly (their daughter)?" I knew she was full of it, but I figured if she was so sure, she'd have all the answers. All of a sudden, she didn't have much to say.
Maybe it was cruel of me, but if she'd only said, "it bothers me he works so much, I wish he were home." I would've understood and been supportive. But if you're going to act like you know "what next" then you better be prepared to share it with the rest of us.
Matty and I are no longer friends, maybe it was that, maybe something else. I'll never know but I know one thing for sure, she still doesn't know "then what"?
So, in conclusion, maybe we don't have all the answers but we should be honest enough to admit we don't and move from there and not pretend there is no "then what"
That's what I learned today.
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