Everything I need to know in life, I learned from Snookie

Recently, like most of America, I find myself fascinated by the show, "Jersey Shore". When I first saw it, it was like watching a car crash. It was horrible, but I couldn't look away. I couldn't figure out why I was was so enthralled by this show. I know now.

The cast (especially the girls) were me, or more accurately what I wanted to be when I was their age. Growing up on Staten Island during the 80's all my friends and I wanted was an Italian boyfriend with a tan and muscles. Sad to say, I never got one but it didn't keep me from hoping. We also spent a lot of time at the Jersey shore drinking way too much. The only thing we didn't do was invite guys back to our house, since none of us had enough money to rent a house. But let me tell you, if we did.......

The character on that show that fascinates me the most is Snookie. Now if you're not a fan of the show, you can stop reading now. If you are, keep going and I'll tell you all the life lessons I learned from her.

1. When you're short, do what you can to make yourself more noticeable. Now, I'm not short, but it's still a good lesson for someone. Snookie wears her hair with this awful bump in the middle of it, and what do you know, she's at least an inch taller.

2. Take time to appreciate the little things in life. Snookie spent her summer working in a t-shirt shop when she wasn't partying or drinking that is. When I was her age, I'm pretty sure I had a full time job I wish I could've had a job selling t-shirts and hanging out all day.

3. Learn to relax. Here's a girl that can drink all night and still finds time to tan during the day. I'd be way too shot to even get out of bed after all that drinking never mind go and give myself third-degree burns for fun.

4. Be creative. When her ex-boyfriend didn't want to hang out with her, did she go home and cry about it? Well, maybe she did, but not before she decided to put on a show. There she was in the middle of the boardwalk at the jersey shore, dancing her little heart out. Was there any music? No. Were there any other people dancing? No. Did she look like a complete fool? Yes. Did it get her her boyfriend back? No. But was it impressive for it's sheer audacity? Oh yes.

5. Make the most of an opportunity. How many people do you know that can make a career out of getting punched in the face? (that aren't professional boxers that is) It's been years since I've been punched in the face, but if I thought I could use it to get paid as much as she's getting, lay the "smack down" on me I'm ready.

So, the next time you read in the papers people making fun of the cast of the "Jersey Shore" just think about all I've said while your trudging through the snow on the way to your lousy job, while they're getting paid to drink and hang out at the beach. If that fails, remember there are life lessons to be learned everywhere, even from Snookie.

That's what I learned today.