Last Girl Standing (Part 1)

When I was younger, there was a club we all used to go to called "Hedges". Maybe you've heard of it, now it's called Bistro, but I'll get to that later. This was the place for all us south shore residents to see and be seen. We knew it wasn't the greatest club around, those were in "the city" but who had money for those? No, "Hedges" suited us just fine.



That was then. In the past couple of years, Hedges became Bistro and that's where all the problems started. I had gone to Bistro (for ladies night of course, still couldn't afford those drinks) and was left wondering, "How hard do you have to try to meet someone?" No one tried harder than the ladies of Bistro. They were out to meet a man even if it meant applying every ounce of makeup and piece of jewelry they owned. The dresses were short, the skin was tanned, the hair blonde and if you were missing one of these elements, you were sorely out of luck. It was as if you went on a job interview with a Fortune 500 company and submitted your resume in crayon. There was just no hope the only thing you had to comfort you was the thought that at least the drinks were cheap and in the back, you could put your bag on the floor and dance.



Why you may ask, did women go to all this trouble? Well for the most part, the men were fairly good-looking and fairly young. Ah, but that was then............



A couple of months back, I asked my sister if she wanted to go to Bistro. She turned up her nose and said, "What and get hit on by 50 year old men?" (She likes them young my sister). To which, I responded "Yeah, if you're lucky you will." See that's what happened. The women stayed the same and the men just got older, creepier and a whole lot choosier.



So, as you can imagine, the competition has gotten even more fierce. The same, made-up tanned, blonde and short dress wearing women are now competing for the attention of men who are definately out past their bedtime. These men, some of them into their 70's (!) now won't even give you a second glance unless your under the age of 25. You may think to yourself, "but I don't want a 70 year old man" that's not the point, it's now a matter of pride. How can you go on, you think, if someone your grampa's age doesn't find you attractive? So, on these women go, fighting the good fight, hoping they'll be the ones asked to sit on grampa's lap. (It's a lot grosser than it sounds)



So, if you see me at the Bistro and you are under the age of 50, have a job and most of your hair or teeth, please don't stop by. I don't think I could stand the dirty looks, my skin doesn't tan well.

Stay tuned for part 2 of last girl standing........